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When families are separated by foster care, FAMILY VISITS are the most important opportunities to
stay connected while parents work to achieve health and stability. At FAMILY VISITS,
parents, children, grandparents and family friends spend time together, allowing children to stay
close to those they care about, allowing parents to learn to parent in healthier ways and allowing
families to address much of the pain, disappointment and mistrust that often results when children
feel their parents have not taken good care of them.
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Research shows that nearly every separation between a child and his or her home is traumatic, even
if temporarily necessary for a parent to address problems. A removal means a child must
often cope with the pain of separation from parents, extended family as well as siblings, school,
church, teams and friends. Child welfare experts find that frequent visits for children
with their parents and other loved ones help children cope with the anxiety and confusion of
foster care. Likewise, experts note that the more visits a parents have with their children,
the more likely they are to stay engaged in the services they need to parent in a safe, healthy way.
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Unfortunately, in New York City, most children in foster care can only see their parents the equivalent
of a FEW DAYS A YEAR. The combination of state law, city policy, and inadequate
visiting resources at foster care agencies means that some children only see their parents for one
hour every two weeks, or ONE DAY A YEAR. A lot happens in a week or two:
a child learns to walk, loses a tooth, gets an "A," loses a boyfriend……all things that kids and
parents want to talk about, celebrate, share. And many visits are missed because children
or social workers get sick, foster parents can't juggle all their responsibilities or parents are asked
to choose between attending a visit or keeping another appointment required by the foster care agency.
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Just as bad, most family visits occur in cramped, sterile agency offices and most foster care workers
report that they don't have the resources to arrange visits around activities that truly mimic normal
family life: for younger children, this might mean playing in the park, attending a
pediatrician's appointment, reading before a nap; for older children it might mean doing homework,
cooking together, shopping for clothes. And some foster care workers are, unfortunately,
unwilling to try and provide this kind of visiting for children.
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As a result, most families lose precious opportunities to stay connected and work towards living together once more.
More on CRF's Visiting Project
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